Queer Utopia: Building a Freer Future from the Inside Out

I didn’t like rule-breakers when I was a teenager. The bad kids, the alternative kids, the shouty kids — I kept my distance from them all. I read books and made quiet jokes with friends. I watched sci-fi and waited an hour for my twenty-second porn clips to download. I was becoming a gay man, of sorts, and yet I didn’t like what I thought the words ‘gay’ and ‘man’ meant. Especially in combination. Rather than acting out, I just put my head down at school and tried to pass.

Of course now I know that I felt ashamed. I thought that gays cared only about drugs, sex, and their own reflection. I must have picked up this image from somewhere. I was terrified of HIV too, and I associated it with gay sex and death. It was the late 1990s and early 2000s, and I was poorly informed. I should have just been enjoying myself and exploring my body, maybe sniffing poppers at a bus stop. But instead, I reali

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